Dear Laurin Compton and Lauren Cofield,
I am writing this letter to the both of you because I think you ladies have done something that many young college women and men have wanted to do but felt too intimidated to do: challenge the traditions and norms of historically Black Greek letter organizations (BGLOs). I would argue that almost every black woman or man in college, especially in institutions where Greek life is extremely prevalent, has toyed with the idea of joining a BGLO. At some point, most of us have fantasized about the paraphernalia, throwing up our sign with our potential line brothers or line sisters, and going in to “Started from the Bottom” as we stroll at the livest college parties (I know I’m not the only one). Greek life, especially in the black community, is glamour. It’s the highly coveted celebrity lifestyle in college. Those in these organizations are the “chosen few,” who are able to balance rigorous courses along with overwhelming popularity with style.
Laurin and Lauren, you both come from families that are influenced by BGLOs, so you of all people truly understand the power and influence that these organizations possess. In addition, you both probably dealt with the pressure of having to continue the legacy of your mothers, so being interested in a BGLO was almost inevitable. As a result of this, you both did everything in your power to increase your chances of gaining entry into these organizations. You did your research, you held leadership positions, and you expressed your interest vocally and through your actions on campus. Unfortunately (or fortunately as some may argue), you did not make the cut. Your opportunity to become a member of such a powerful organization was right there, and in the final moments, it was snatched from underneath your feet like a terrible joke. Angry, as I’m sure you were, you both responded to what you deem as injustice and a violation of your human rights by taking this organization to court. Even though your case reeks of privilege and entitlement (suing organization and then demanding entry into that organization is a bit ludicrous), you ladies still called out Alpha Kappa Alpha, and perhaps unintentionally BGLOs in general, on their unclear, underground and secretive process for choosing young women and men to be a part of these organizations.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyfbrINQd9s
Laurin and Lauren, your case against Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc is not a serious case of injustice, and it definitely is not a grave case of human rights violation. I’m sure that despite the interviews in which you’ve stated the opposite, deep down you know this is true. You both are simply angry and hurt that your last chance of being taken seriously as a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. (we all know graduate chapters are a whole different culture) was ripped away from you. Calling it quits would mean letting go of this childhood dream and in someways a responsibility to fulfill a family tradition, which I’m sure is an extremely hard thing to do. Rejection from an organization in which your mothers are active members and accepting defeat is something that does not sit well with the both of you. However, Laurin and Lauren, despite the circus that is this lawsuit, you are both doing something courageous. You are challenging the powers that be. More importantly, you’ve opened up the door to a conversation about why so few of us speak out against the things that these organizations continue to do. Why don’t more of us challenge BGLOs ? Why do some of us who were beaten, mentally and verbally abused, refuse to speak out? Why do we continue to keep their secrets at our own expense? Why are young college students dying for the sake of “sisterhood” or “brotherhood?” Why are we choosing to subject ourselves to this? Why aren’t there more Laurens and Laurins speaking out? Why do we fear these orgs?
These are all questions that continue to run through my mind when I think of 19-year-old Marvell Edmondson who died while pledging at Virginia State University, Kenitha Saafir and Kristin High who died in the waters off Playa del Rey in a hazing ritual, and many others. Furthermore, it makes me question why some of us go to such heinous extremes be a part of these organizations? I think part of it lies in the fact that since the beginning of human civilization, we have been obsessed with levels of class and elitism. We are obsessed with being distinct and above others. We are also obsessed with exclusivity. There is a gentle stroke to our egos that many of us feel when we can say that we belong to a certain group and turn our nose at others who do not, whether or not we chose to admit this. It’s natural. Some of us may remember this feeling from a very early age when we formed innocent clubs with secret handshakes that only those within our group were privy to. This need for exclusivity, separation, and distinction manifests similarly in college. Even though BGLOs were formed out of a need for the representation and advocacy of the needs of minorities, somewhere along the way, the mystery and the exclusivity of these organizations took precedence over the true essence of what these organizations are about. The highly secretive process for becoming a member of these orgs became an object of fantasy. At the very core of each of these organizations is a need to give back to the community the way that the founders did. So why must we go back in our history and paddle each other in a way that is disgustingly reminiscent of the lashings by slave masters? Since when did that become a criteria for closeness and strength? In addition, why don’t more of us realize that there are other ways to seek leadership development and community without being abused for it?
The case of the Lauren and Laurin versus Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. provides a space for this discourse. This lawsuit forces us to critique the process by which so many of us seek belonging, exclusivity, and a sense of self. It makes us question if it’s all really worth it? Is having sorors worth me being broken down to be built up as a member of an organization? Chances are, this case will not bring forth many answers, but it does raise necessary uncomfortable questions.
So, I want to thank Laurin and Lauren. Thank you ladies for not waiting until the hazing got to extreme points to critique the process for acquiring sisterhood and brotherhood. Thank you for being courageous enough to publicly challenge norms in a culture where doing so can lead to osctracization and degradation. And thank you most importantly for forcing us to ask questions again and challenge our personal mindsets and societal mindsets. Even as I type this letter, I feel the struggle between wanting to speak and feel the discomfort or shut up and enjoy the safety. This is a feeling I’m grateful to be experiencing and be reminded of. I hope the both of you ladies find what you are looking for and still keep hold to the essence of who you are as women.
kinkedwords 
Who are u???? I must ask because I want to know are u greek or are u on the outside looking in. I dont find what they did to be courageous at all, I find it cowardly and reprehensible. Sueing someone because you did not get you way seems to be the new “create my own org if I cant get in” Lets be real, there are many a factor with these social/service organizations. No one has to grant you admittance because u are u. If the membership or just a member in some cases doesn’t like you then its not going to happen, maybe you can join a grad chapter. The issue is not that they stood up to something, the issue is that if they were to gain admittance what will the sisters gain and what will the Lauryns gain (yes I know I spelled it wrong). Suing the org and hoping you get in and that in a couple of years people will forget…. Not going to happen. Greeks have a long and I mean long memory and oral tradition states this information will be passed down from new member to new member. They have effectively barred themselves from enjoying the bonds of sorority. So they didn’t want to be hazed….. Guess what hazing is life, have u not looked at the courts ruling on it. I’m not saying they had to be spanked but sounds to me like they cant think for themselves. From the greeks I have known in this new day and age ppl have a choice to what they want to do. No one MADE them do anything. If your mad because I want you to call me at 3:30am on saturday then by all means dont do that type of thing and join an alumni chapter or better yet petition but dont get hazed. The problem is people think they are entitled to something, if you are going to let laurin and lauren in why not the men of MIAKA. The girls are cute and come from families with some influence and are mad because someone shot down their hopes of joining an org at a specific place. Ladies life is full of disappointments and not everyone is going to like you, get over it and persevere…… But maybe you weren’t Greek material because every BGLO greek I know knew how to do this before they joined and became whatever “Origami or Made.” If you truly wanted in, you would have waited and knocked at the door again but trying to push it in will only leave you destitue in sisterhood.
Thanks for your comment. In regards to your first question, I am not a member of a Greek organization, but some of my best friends from college are. I have seen the amazing things my friends have done through being a part of these organizations, bringing broken communities together and reigniting the spirit of service. I am also aware of the process by which many members gain entry into these organizations and the “tradition” that fuels this process. I agree with you that this lawsuit reeks of entitlement. I stated that. I also think it’s ridiculous that these ladies expect entry into Alpha Kappa Alpha after this lawsuit (also stated). However, what I am commending these ladies on is their courage to even question the very traditions that you mentioned. They may not have gone about this in the most effective way, but the very act of challenging these orgs is something that I have not seen a lot. I get that the traditions are an integral part of these organizations’ history, but does that mean they shouldn’t be challenged? To me, that’s entitlement. Just because something has been done for decades or centuries does not render that thing untouchable. If your tradition has been taken to extremes, and people are dying, it should be challenged. It should be discussed. It should be critiqued. Yes, people have a choice. Yes, people can chose whether or not they are going to be hazed. But those doing the hazing are also making a choice-a choice to inflict physical pain on others that has led to some young college students suffering from kidney failure, becoming paralyzed, and in some cases, dying. Too many of us have accepted that as a norm, and in my opinion, that has to change.
I guess I find it interesting that in the original letter the first two paragraphs never mentioned the contributions that sororities and fraternities make, or the service that is provided as a means for wanting to be a member.
“At some point, most of us have fantasized about the paraphernalia, throwing up our sign with our potential line brothers or line sisters, and going in to “Started from the Bottom” as we stroll at the livest college parties (I know I’m not the only one). Greek life, especially in the black community, is glamour. It’s the highly coveted celebrity lifestyle in college.”
Where in this statement does it mention being committed for a LIFETIME to the ideals and work of the organization? You seem to want “greek life” for superficial reasons. Which is in turn the apparent reason these young ladies wanted Alpha Chapter. They seemed uninterested in the lifetime membership Alpha Kappa Alpha offers. I have been a member of my organization for almost 15 years and a member of my undergrad chapter for two months! It’s over in the blink of an eye. And while I still have bonds with my linesisters, I have a commitment to uphold.
“(we all know graduate chapters are a whole different culture)”
Is this the real reason you agree with them? Are you a person who aspired to be only in undergrad? What purpose can an undergrad really serve? You’re gone in two years! Then it’s up to the next line to “run the yard”. These are NOT clubs to be enjoyed in your youth. However, there are many organizations that are only active in college. Some even have greek letters. Maybe you should investigate.
While I agree that the culture of keeping silent is detrimental to our sororities and fraternities and that hazing is an issue that should be addressed, understand that these young ladies are not suing because they noticed hazing, they are suing to get in. Period. And why would you want to join a chapter that treats you bad anyway?
There are many reasons that this entire situation is messed up and the more that comes to light, the more I realize that AKA, Alpha Chapter and Howard University made the right decision. I’m just sad that their business has become cannon fodder for the world to discuss. It also saddens me that these young ladies have ruined their chances of ever becoming members of ANY sorority.
Thanks for your comment. I think you missed my point. This post has very little to do with me and my “aspiring” to be a part of any Greek org. I am not interested nor have I ever seriously (emphasis on seriously) been interested in joining a Greek org. However, I am fascinated by the process and the culture of it all.
I want to quickly address your claim that the sole motivation for the lawsuit is the ladies wanting to get into the org. Their lawsuit is a bit more complex than that. The hazing (though not major in comparison to what they could’ve experienced later in the process) they went through as interests is also at the epicenter of the lawsuit. You can read more here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/03/06/laurin-compton-lauren-cofield-lawsuit_n_2822828.html.
Finally, I do think these ladies were quite aware of the lifetime of dedication required of members of these orgs. Both of their mothers are active members. I don’t think anyone who just wanted to wear the colors of an org would go to the point of taking that org to court. That’s a little much for someone who doesn’t really want it. Regardless, I’m sure both of these women will find ways to be successful, give back to their communities, and build lasting bonds with other exemplary women whether or not they are in a Greek org. Many people have.
They didn’t stand up against “traditions”. This isn’t about hazing. Lauren admitted they weren’t hazed during that travishamockery of a news interview. They were pissed because they didn’t get picked and threw a legal tantrum. I actually don’t blame the “laurens” alone. I blame their mothers.
Although you will receive a series of comments that disagree with you, I just wanted to add that I think this article was beautifully written. I dont think others are getting your point. You are absolutely right…its rare to see students publically challenge BLGOs or any Greek – Letter organization for that matter. Its amazing because several of these organizations were created by those who wanted to challenge the norms of their time, yet cant handle it when other choose to challenge them. The hypocrisy!
For many colleges and universities, greek-lettered organizations set the norm for whose who of the campus, and when you challenge the majority you ultimately pigeon hole yourself into a social setting wherein, others will refuse to interact with you…and no one wants to be a social outcast. So I agree that Laurin and Lauren we both courageous to take their complaints and grievances to the next level.
Thanks so much! Please share with others. I’d love for this discussion to continue.
This was a case of two brats who didn’t get what they want. If they wanted to be members of MY sorority, there are an abundance of grad chapters. Life isn’t fair, and when you fail to instill this in your children, this is a prime example. Another example of why we live in such an overly litigious society. In a world where people die of hunger every day, suing to get into a social organization just shows how disconnected and spoiled they really are. Nicely written, but I can’t applaud such foolery.
This is an interesting take on this situation. And while I respect your points of view, I don’t fully agree.
Your tone in the latter part of this blog seems to vilify BGLOs. I say this because of how you neglected to mention the positive contributions of Greeks.
Are there negative things that have been a part of our organizations? Absolutely. But as a member of a D9 sorority; I know that the good FAR outweighs the bad. But you never see that in the media. A magnifying glass is placed on the negative though.
Therefore, as I read your post and your acknowledgement of not being Greek I can’t help but to feel as though your perspective is somewhat skewed. Having Greek friends cannot even scratch the surface of who WE (all inclusive) truly are.
***Also, I will make no apologies for the secrets we keep & I will use this analogy: our organizational information etc is like presents on Christmas day; wrapped surpises waiting to be opened by the person whose name is on the wrapping.