Dear Laurin Compton and Lauren Cofield,
I am writing this letter to the both of you because I think you ladies have done something that many young college women and men have wanted to do but felt too intimidated to do: challenge the traditions and norms of historically Black Greek letter organizations (BGLOs). I would argue that almost every black woman or man in college, especially in institutions where Greek life is extremely prevalent, has toyed with the idea of joining a BGLO. At some point, most of us have fantasized about the paraphernalia, throwing up our sign with our potential line brothers or line sisters, and going in to “Started from the Bottom” as we stroll at the livest college parties (I know I’m not the only one). Greek life, especially in the black community, is glamour. It’s the highly coveted celebrity lifestyle in college. Those in these organizations are the “chosen few,” who are able to balance rigorous courses along with overwhelming popularity with style.
Laurin and Lauren, you both come from families that are influenced by BGLOs, so you of all people truly understand the power and influence that these organizations possess. In addition, you both probably dealt with the pressure of having to continue the legacy of your mothers, so being interested in a BGLO was almost inevitable. As a result of this, you both did everything in your power to increase your chances of gaining entry into these organizations. You did your research, you held leadership positions, and you expressed your interest vocally and through your actions on campus. Unfortunately (or fortunately as some may argue), you did not make the cut. Your opportunity to become a member of such a powerful organization was right there, and in the final moments, it was snatched from underneath your feet like a terrible joke. Angry, as I’m sure you were, you both responded to what you deem as injustice and a violation of your human rights by taking this organization to court. Even though your case reeks of privilege and entitlement (suing organization and then demanding entry into that organization is a bit ludicrous), you ladies still called out Alpha Kappa Alpha, and perhaps unintentionally BGLOs in general, on their unclear, underground and secretive process for choosing young women and men to be a part of these organizations.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyfbrINQd9s
Laurin and Lauren, your case against Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc is not a serious case of injustice, and it definitely is not a grave case of human rights violation. I’m sure that despite the interviews in which you’ve stated the opposite, deep down you know this is true. You both are simply angry and hurt that your last chance of being taken seriously as a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. (we all know graduate chapters are a whole different culture) was ripped away from you. Calling it quits would mean letting go of this childhood dream and in someways a responsibility to fulfill a family tradition, which I’m sure is an extremely hard thing to do. Rejection from an organization in which your mothers are active members and accepting defeat is something that does not sit well with the both of you. However, Laurin and Lauren, despite the circus that is this lawsuit, you are both doing something courageous. You are challenging the powers that be. More importantly, you’ve opened up the door to a conversation about why so few of us speak out against the things that these organizations continue to do. Why don’t more of us challenge BGLOs ? Why do some of us who were beaten, mentally and verbally abused, refuse to speak out? Why do we continue to keep their secrets at our own expense? Why are young college students dying for the sake of “sisterhood” or “brotherhood?” Why are we choosing to subject ourselves to this? Why aren’t there more Laurens and Laurins speaking out? Why do we fear these orgs?
These are all questions that continue to run through my mind when I think of 19-year-old Marvell Edmondson who died while pledging at Virginia State University, Kenitha Saafir and Kristin High who died in the waters off Playa del Rey in a hazing ritual, and many others. Furthermore, it makes me question why some of us go to such heinous extremes be a part of these organizations? I think part of it lies in the fact that since the beginning of human civilization, we have been obsessed with levels of class and elitism. We are obsessed with being distinct and above others. We are also obsessed with exclusivity. There is a gentle stroke to our egos that many of us feel when we can say that we belong to a certain group and turn our nose at others who do not, whether or not we chose to admit this. It’s natural. Some of us may remember this feeling from a very early age when we formed innocent clubs with secret handshakes that only those within our group were privy to. This need for exclusivity, separation, and distinction manifests similarly in college. Even though BGLOs were formed out of a need for the representation and advocacy of the needs of minorities, somewhere along the way, the mystery and the exclusivity of these organizations took precedence over the true essence of what these organizations are about. The highly secretive process for becoming a member of these orgs became an object of fantasy. At the very core of each of these organizations is a need to give back to the community the way that the founders did. So why must we go back in our history and paddle each other in a way that is disgustingly reminiscent of the lashings by slave masters? Since when did that become a criteria for closeness and strength? In addition, why don’t more of us realize that there are other ways to seek leadership development and community without being abused for it?
The case of the Lauren and Laurin versus Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. provides a space for this discourse. This lawsuit forces us to critique the process by which so many of us seek belonging, exclusivity, and a sense of self. It makes us question if it’s all really worth it? Is having sorors worth me being broken down to be built up as a member of an organization? Chances are, this case will not bring forth many answers, but it does raise necessary uncomfortable questions.
So, I want to thank Laurin and Lauren. Thank you ladies for not waiting until the hazing got to extreme points to critique the process for acquiring sisterhood and brotherhood. Thank you for being courageous enough to publicly challenge norms in a culture where doing so can lead to osctracization and degradation. And thank you most importantly for forcing us to ask questions again and challenge our personal mindsets and societal mindsets. Even as I type this letter, I feel the struggle between wanting to speak and feel the discomfort or shut up and enjoy the safety. This is a feeling I’m grateful to be experiencing and be reminded of. I hope the both of you ladies find what you are looking for and still keep hold to the essence of who you are as women.
kinkedwords 